I was exhausted.
I laid my head down on Marissa's shoulder with our son on her other arm, exhaled, and closed my eyes.
Am I always going to feel this way?
Is it always going to be this difficult?
When will peace conquer my weariness?
I am for peace; but when I speak, they are for war. - Psalm 120:7
In this passage, the psalmist is venting about slanderers with deceitful tongues; but for me, I appreciate the imagery as it fills my exhausted heart while I battle my personal they—weariness and emotional exhaustion.
In the presence of my battles, I am grateful for the God who meets me under the broom tree.
Hot Charcoal and Suicide
The broom tree is a desert shrub that is referenced in many places throughout the Old Testament (source). Its purpose beyond a piece of foliage?
- A source of shade (Genesis 21)
- A source for fuel and food (Job 30)
- A place where God meets our every need (1 Kings 19)
Even one of the greatest prophets of all time (GPOAT), Elijah, found himself seeking God under the broom tree while drowning in thoughts of suicide.
But he himself went a day’s journey into the wilderness, and came and sat down under a solitary broom tree. He asked that he might die: “It is enough; now, O Lord, take away my life, for I am no better than my ancestors. - 1 Kings 19:4
This sentient came just a few short verses after Elijah had witnessed God do the impossible (see 1 Kings 18). And yet, God doesn't abandon him in his weary thoughts. He meets him where he is and provides shade, food, energy, and strength under the broom tree (1 Kings 19:5-8).
You are never alone. Even when darkness overwhelms you, God meets you in your weakest moments.
Your thoughts of suicide don't go unnoticed.
Your depression will not break you.
Your anxiety cannot overcome you.
Your fears have no power over you.
Hold on, for God will meet you under the broom tree and provide your every need.
He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint. - Isaiah 40:29-31
Hold on, for God will meet you under the broom tree and provide your every need.
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