My mind remained shaken as darkness covered my body. I was staring at the closet door afraid of what would happen if I fell asleep.
If God is good, why does suffering exist?
Does God exist?
Why do bad people hurt good people?
Will I always feel this way?
It was 1:00 in the morning. My eyes were exhausted, yet refused to stay closed. As much as I love being an internal processor... it makes it difficult to fall asleep when my mind won't slow down. Doubts were bombarding me from every side, this evening.
The night is nearly over; the day is almost here. So let us put aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light. - Romans 13:12
Doubts are a part of every christ-follower's journey. Anyone who tells you they've never wrestled with them is either a liar, or a Saint... and I don't know any Saints. While we shouldn't dwell on our doubts, we also shouldn't run from them either. Doubts give us an opportunity to stretch our faith and deepen our trust in Jesus.
If you are a christ-follower who is battling the darkness that doubts can bring, here are three things you can do to deactivate the dark and reactivate your faith.
1) Deactivate the Dark by Strengthening Your Prayer Life
The older I get, the more I believe that prayer has become a missing piece of my life—and many western-Christian's lives. It appears from Jesus' life, that He not only valued daily prayer as a means for strengthening His faith in times of darkness (see Matthew 26), but He would pray for hours at a time (see Matthew 26:40).
The idea of praying for multiple hours each day seems impossible for most of us—maybe even terrifying. Yet, I believe there is a connection between prayer and a calming Spirit. Actually, not just me. In 2020, the Wall Street Journal released a study regarding the science of prayer (study shown here). In order to deactivate the dark, I believe we should spend more time in prayer.
2) Deactivate the Dark by Trusting Scripture
When you read this, you might be thinking "c'mon Jordan... don't tell me that you're turning into one of those Christians. The cliche Christian who has a verse for everything..." And I get it. Churches and Christians have abused Scripture since its existence. If you've been in contact with a Bible Thumper lately, I apologize on behalf of the entire Church.
But if you're struggling with doubts or questions regarding who God is, you need to look at what God does. When you start trusting in the things that God has done, you will start to understand who God is.
Scripture is our guide, with the Holy Spirit, to understanding who God is and His plan for your life. Don't be intimidated by the fancy words or lingo that some theologians use. Lean into the Truths that are written in the Bible and rely on the Holy Spirit to help guide you in their meaning.
3) Deactivate the Dark by Facing It
You can't fix what you aren't willing to face.
You can't defeat what you aren't devoted to fight.
You can't battle something if you don't believe it exists...
Do you get the point?
In order for us to deactivate the dark, we have to face it. Doubting—in and of itself—is human. It is healthy and natural for us to ask questions and wrestle with what we believe. But God doesn't want us to dwell in the darkness while we are wrestling with our faith.
Whatever you are facing, know that you are not alone. Your questions are valid... so ask them. Seek the answers and don't shy away from the truths that you find. However, I challenge you to seek answers through prayer, studying scripture, and ultimately facing that which you are afraid of. It will change your life.
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